Posts Tagged graduation

Waiting for what?

Caminante, no hay puentes, se hace puentes al andar. Gloria E. Anzaldúa

I’ll be honest; I’m use to getting what I want all the time.  Sound a bit selfish?  Conceited?  Immature?  Well, yes, that is how it sounds, but let me explain.

Day after day, I work hard from the moment I wake up until I let my head fall upon my favorite pillow 16 hours later.  My parents have always told me to work hard because nothing in life will be handed to you, and believe me, nothing in my life has been handed to me.  I have spent countless hours on projects, at internships and working more than one job at a time to better myself.  I’m not use to hearing “no” because at the end of the day I do not only convince others of my abilities, but I strive to perfect them and I make sure that I am better than my competition.  I know I have not learned all that I need to live in this world, but I am aware of my weaknesses and am constantly working on turning those weaknesses into attributes that will push me over the top.

So, now that I am faced with an uncertain future, I feel lost.  I feel as if all of the work I have put in over the last four years in college are nothing.  I feel as if all of those words of encouragement from my parents over the past 22 years are lies.

As some of my closest friends are being offered their first full-time jobs before graduation.  I am waiting.

Waiting for a reply from the University of South Florida’s selection committee for entry into their Masters of Arts in Communications: Multimedia program.  Waiting to hear back from one of the 15 jobs I have applied for over the last two months.  Waiting.

Right now the only comfort I have is when I think remember that God has my back (only way I can word that feeling right now) and Ms. Anzaldua’s words.  I just have to keep moving during this time of waiting and build my own bridges.  Just have to move through this waiting room.

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Sacrifices

Job applications are minimized on my dock.  Graduate school check list are in my Downloads folder.  Cover letters are being personalized for heads of Media Relations and Community Outreach departments for various professional teams.  Yet, as I prepare for the months that follow graduation from Florida Southern. . .I’m at a lost.

Now that I know that I can take one of several paths – God willing – I am terrified.  It’s not the walk across the stage on April 30th that has me petrified. . .it’s the walk away from my family and friends who have been next to me through every single tear dropped to being the origins of my laughter that has me slowly backing away from that day.  As applications are being completed. . .sacrifices are already beginning to knock on my door.

I am now officially at a lost for words.  I wanted to try to sort this out.  I know I will soon enough, but just not tonight I suppose.

So I suppose I’m just going to wait for the morning I can open up iTunes and play Sam Means’ song “Yeah Yeah.”

Today was the day
That I put everything in perspective
I fell asleep, when I woke up
Everything changed

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Let me fall into graduation

This has definitely been one rough week for me.  I thought this semester was going to be the easiest one, but it’s turned into making tamales on Noche Buena – non-stop hard work, but you can already taste how good they’ll be on Christmas night.

The end of my collegiate career is near, but it will definitely not be an easy one. . .

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